FROM: Boy
TO: Girl
SUBJECT: sorry
I'm sorry okay
* * * * *
Boy and Girl connect on dating website. Boy emails Girl. Girl replies. Boy and Girl exchange a number of emails before Girl finally gives Boy her phone number.
Boy texts rather than calls. Texting has its place, but it's not a great way to get to know someone new. Girl is not impressed.
But Girl likes meeting new people, exchanging stories, getting to know each other a little. So when Boy suggests Girl meet him for a drink, Girl says yes, Thursday night. Boy picks a place, as Girl is new to the area. Girl checks it out online and texts him that it doesn't look too murdery, so it's a go. Boy responds, "It's not very loud, so you'll be able to hear me talk."
Girl suddenly realizes Boy has not asked her very many questions about her. Girl begins to think that a cold beer alone on her couch with the company of a good book sounds like a better way to spend her Thursday night.
Wednesday afternoon, Boy texts Girl, "I can't make it tonight, hung up at work."
Girl is relieved. Girl doesn't bother pointing out to Boy that they were supposed to meet the following day. Girl figures Boy wasn't all that interested, Girl wasn't all that interested and it all worked itself out in the end. Girl texts back, "Okay, no problem" and assumes that is the end of that. Just as well since Girl already has another date, one she's excited about, lined up for Saturday.
(Girl will go on to cancel Saturday's date when THAT Boy tells her he has only been separated for 4 months and is living in an in-law apartment attached to the marital home where his wife still resides.)
However, a week later, Girl will receive an email from Boy saying, "I'm sorry okay".
Boy feels bad and wants Girl to make him feel better about it. Now, Girl is not an asshole. Girl has been dating long enough to know that it's complicated, that old baggage and fear of rejection linger behind every step of the process. So Girl says, "Dude, if I had a dime for every time I freaked out when a guy either gave me his number or asked me to meet, I'd have enough money to pay for every date ever with a guy I finally want to go the distance with. Dating is hard, people get freaked out and bail, I get it. But I've found that the times I've freaked out have been because I wasn't really ready to be dating, I wasn't actually interested but felt like I should give someone I had no online chemistry with a chance, or I WAS interested but there were red flags that I couldn't ignore. So don't sweat it, it's usually your gut telling you it's not right. First dates should be exciting, something you look forward to, not something you dread and want to bail on."
Boy replies, "I think it's sexy that you called me dude."
Girl shakes head. Boy is definitely not her type.
Boy messages, "Your sweet lets start over"
Girl responds, "I think at this point we should just wish each other well..."
Boy replies again with an "Awww come on" that Girl ignores.
Boy and Girl don't speak again.
And so Girl keeps looking.
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